Dream Weaver

A boy who held a heart in his hands
Well, not quite a boy but not yet a man
The heart was as soft and tender as clay
Maybe that boy wouldn't give it away
The heart would shrivel for fear of being crushed
And that boy refused to be rushed
But he dreamt of a girl that would sing him to sleep
To hold to a heart he didn't fear keep
For his was surrounded by a cold layer of stone
Which may, in turn, have kept him alone
But in his hands, the heart began to pound
Filled with wonder and overjoyed at the sound
He ran through the snow, wild flakes tumbling cold
And within his chest, his heart became gold

- - -

There once was a girl with a surrogate heart
Held by a boy who could tear it apart
In hope of rescue, she wrote his dreams by night
But the act couldn't quite seem to stifle her fright
It was true that she loved him, silly as it seems
Always on her mind, vivid in her dreams
She'd do anything for him, he wouldn't have to ask
But fear was her pain and worry, her mask
Until one day he took off through the snow
She could hardly bear that she'd have to watch him go
She shut her eyes tight, afraid to even peek
Hoping he'd come back by the end of the week
And then she realized the ground beneath her moved
He was on a journey, and she was coming, too.

- - -

Day by day, the story unfolds
Two star-crossed lovers, two hearts of gold.

Forgetfulness

I worry about what to wear
I worry about how to fix my hair
I worry about all the little things
Particularly what the future brings
I worry about my single life
I worry about becoming a wife
I worry about the money I’ll make
And what in my world will be at stake

But I forget about the starving children
A hunger so deep, nothing can fill them
I forget about the homeless father
With help, people don’t care to bother

I forget about the widowed and broken
And all the kind words that go unspoken
I forget about Christians, persecuted
Families murdered and houses looted

I forget about the poor and blind
The innocent babies killed before their time
I forget about the abused and battered
The countless households that ended up shattered

I forget about the lepers and maimed
The wild minds that can’t be tamed
The angry and forgotten locked inside
The beautiful souls the world tries to hide

I forget about the single mothers
Paying one bill just to find another
I forget about the inmates of a county jail
And all the lost sinners facing a fiery hell

And in my worry, I find my dismay
Understanding my worries are enough for today
I forget the God that created the Earth
That made all my struggles fulfill their worth

I forget the God that is Holy and Whole
And for my life has set a goal
I forget the power of His loving hands
The obedience with which I must keep His commands

I forget the God that is my rock and my shield
And through his spirit, the power I can wield
I forget the God that was in control of the past
And the redemption He sent that will forever last

I remember the Man that died to save my soul
And the worries of tomorrow, I no longer know.

So that I Can Move Mountains

1 If I speak the languages of men and of angels, but do not have love,  
I am a sounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
2 If I have the gift of prophecy,
and understand all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have all faith, so that I can move mountains,
but do not have love, I am nothing.
3 And if I donate all my goods to feed the poor,
and if I give my body to be burned,
but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient; love is kind. Love does not envy;
is not boastful; is not conceited;
5 does not act improperly; is not selfish;
is not provoked; does not keep a record of wrongs;
6 finds no joy in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth;
7 bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends.
But as for prophecies, they will come to an end;
as for languages, they will cease;
as for knowledge, it will come to an end.
9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when the perfect comes, the partial will come to an end.
11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child,
I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.
When I became a man, I put aside childish things.
12 For now we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face.
Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, as I am fully known.
13 Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love.
But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13




A heart empty, sad, and cold
Longing for a heart of gold
An examination of the self
Longing for a heart of health
Do not hold yourself to blame
Then you'll create a heart of shame

Love is not boastful nor conceited
Don't let your desire be defeated
It is not selfish or provoked
But should remain equally yoked

It keeps no records of your wrongs
No matter the hurt felt for so long
Whether I know fully or in part
The love residing in my heart
I shall learn to rejoice in truth
Relinquishing my immature youth
For a love I cannot envy
But does a soul exist within me?

Without love, nothing can be known
And so I'll spend my days alone
In learning how I'll bear the weight
I can't afford to hesitate

And now these three remain
The faith and hope to face the pain
Yet, the greatest of these is love
Only to find standards I fall short of
The standard of original sin
Still I know love never ends

Love is patient, love is kind
It's something I have yet to find
But I intend to discover
That I am nothing but a lover.

A Prose Piece I Wrote for English

What is real that isn't measurable?

Forgiveness; by far one of the hardest things to measure, how much to give, how much to receive. The power of prayer; a power so great it can move mountains and reach to the ends of the earth. Sincere forgiveness is the most difficult gift to give because not only is pardon being given and pain being released, but a piece of the heart is lost. The offender can take that piece and do whatever they wish to it; be it a continuous battering or a consistent nurturing. Prayer, the easiest gift to give; a loving request that God will work in His mightiest ways. The hardest words I have ever had to say have been, “Can you forgive me?” Equally as difficult, praying out loud has left me frightened, self-conscious, and tongue-tied because I’m too afraid of what someone might think of my requests and eloquence more so than what the Holy and Almighty Lord thinks. For some reason humans desire to hold on to the pain caused to them and return it tenfold. The sweetest release is giving it all to God, healer of hearts, and savior of souls, and being able to recognize His voice when He speaks.


I’ve heard story upon story about people whose families have been brutally murdered or accidentally killed and when the individual came face to face with the one who took their loved one, they were able to look them in the eye and say I forgive you. I like to think that I would be so confident in my spiritual walk that I would be able to do the same, but pray I’m never faced with the situation. But it scares me that even little things are hard to forgive; hurtful words, mean glances, honest mistakes. I’ve come to find that only God can mend a heart and it happens over the course of His perfectly planned schedule. I understand now that Christians suffer for many legitimate reasons; no pain is ever without cause. As humans, we like to hurt; we continually cause ourselves pain, and for what reason? For pity? For sympathy? For nothing. Through prayer, we gain wisdom; through forgiveness, we gain peace.

I have discovered that humbling oneself and asking for forgiveness, as well as, asking for God’s blessing on any situation is far more fulfilling than any method of revenge could ever be. Forgiveness isn’t a one way thing; it takes two to Tango. Both parties have to recognize they were in the wrong; one for holding a grudge, bad thoughts about the offender are inevitable, and the other for trespassing against their friend, intentionally or unintentionally.

Sin is an awfully ugly thing; inherently instilled within our genetic make-up. Neither can we escape it, nor redeem ourselves when in the wrong, being almost every moment of our lives. But for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction that occurs. For every sin, there is a grace so beautiful, it’s truly unfathomable. When beginning to grasp the immensity of this concept called grace, brokenness and a new desire to be obedient to God as He has been obedient to every lowly sinner burns within the soul and heart and mind.

My sins are real, but immeasurable. God’s loving grace is real, but immeasurable. And for that, I am immeasurably grateful.



Ephesians 3:20-21 “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”

Reflection

A rainy night
Through foggy windows
A heart so light
Sexual innuendos
A boy in plaid
A man in mind
And for you I will find the time

Unaware of what to do
Yet a desire to be here for you
At first it felt to be ordained
And now I feel I should be blamed

Please don’t let this fall to ruin
Overhead a storm is brewing
I see a man humbled and broken
With so many words that go unspoken
I want to speak and prick your heart
So that we may end this endless dark

For perfection, I never asked
Just for a loved to go unmasked
In God’s image you’re beautifully made
Through Jesus Christ your debts are paid

I cry and hope and think and pray
You won’t so readily runaway
A hunger burns within my soul
For my halves to be made whole
For all I wanted was a friend
My heart I trust my God to mend

I’ve had far too many steps to take
On this long journey of mistakes
Why must this be so complicated?
For I fear my heart will end up jaded.

I’ve found my heart is prone to wander
A spiritual thief I pillage and plunder
Through poetry we speak our souls
An attraction like magnetic poles
And on a ship we’ll sail away
Into a dawn of a new day

You wish, a heart light as a feather
You hope, hidden within a stone
Guarded mores so now, however
It could cause you to end alone

Through constant prayer I want to find
A desire to unite heart and mind
So I sit and try to wait
For this worry to dissipate

But everything can be redeemed
And return to how it once had seemed

For your soft lips, I still long
How could such chemistry be so wrong?
Sinful desire, a playful tease
Wanting you to want me to fall on your knees

The ink on your arm speaks vivid and true
An unfolding mystery without any clues
Don’t you forget to remember me
Whatever happens is what’s meant to be

But with our kisses, I have yet
Found everything I do regret.

I Write Love with a Cursive L

I write love with a cursive L,
the loops and curves my feelings quell.
A million secrets his lips do tell,
And for this boy I easily fell.

And on that day I couldn't catch his eye
Until the moment we spoke goodbye,
And for his arms I thought I'd reach,
but instead I turned and lost my speech.

And so my God, I gave it to you.
Emotionally broken and battered and blue.
And through green eyes you gave me hope,
long after I'd hit the end of the rope.

A beautiful creature
A star the fell
To keep me from heaven
and save me from hell.

I find myself wishing to be in his light,
hoping that my heart could ever shine that bright.

But still I wander back to the night,
because it's all I comfortably know,
A blind future is an awful fright,
And to the light I refuse to go.

I'm happy in my comfort zone
which I know you're sure to erase.
But for the beauty to unfold
it's something I want to face.

But in this shadow, I'll playfully hide,
Until you want me by your side.
From that moment on let church bells ring,
and from that moment on we'll sing:

Hallelujah, you were made for me.
Hallelujah, saved from misery.
And from this day I'll love you best
From this moment on and through the rest.
And through our sins and shortcomings we'll fight,
And within forgiveness we'll find a light.

I write love with a cursive L,
and for my darling I forever fell.

To God be the glory,
this is our story,
Forever and ever.

Amen.

Uprooted

Along with the Marigolds
We water the Weeds
Along with the Truth
We plant filthy seeds
Saying one thing, yet doing another
Like tangled thorns, the flowers we smother.

With our sins we strangle beauty
But never truly is it dead
Our souls are never tragic
It’s all just in our heads

Unnecessarily, we beat ourselves down
In rains of sorrow, we’re sure to drown.
Confined to a basin, We’ll never be free
A life to hasten, time’s an enemy.

Marigolds, Magnolias, and Rosies
Hibiscus, Lilies, and Posies,
Numbers of flowers outnumber the weeds
Like evil outnumbers the charitable deeds.

With limbs stretched upward, petals towards the sky,
Our hopes are restored with every passerby.
The wind tries to sway us, we remain bent but not broken,
The children cause a ruckus, our stories go unspoken.

The Sun our one, true Savior
He redeemed our misbehavior,
A love one cannot measure,
Through constant pain and pleasure.
In the muck and mire we grow,
Our life a struggle, reap what was sewn.
Petals wither, day fades away,
Within this mire, will we forever stay?
Within the weeds, we’ve began to mold,
Are we ever to escape this familiar chokehold?

Out of the storm, Out of the snow, Out of this Garden I want to go.

Compulsion

I’ve got an addiction To friends that are foe
All their truths fiction
Constant pain I undergo

Trust far too easy
As easy as one, two, three
That was until you turned your back
Now, through a hardened heart I see

You started out different
Nothing like the rest
A betrayal I couldn’t prevent
And now you’ve hurt me best

Now I understand
I’ll face disappointment every day of my life
A relationship contraband
Friendship a cold, unforgiving knife

I want to be heartless
Revenge a dish best served cold
A love I can’t repress
Forgiveness uncontrolled

I keep coming back
For the pain or the pleasure, I can’t discern
A full-frontal attack
Maybe one day I’ll finally learn

I’ll continue to give
You’ll continue to take
And the wrong decisions
I’ll continue to make

I’ll beat your eardrum until it bleeds
Maybe one day I’ll find someone who can give me what I need
Eye for eye, tooth for tooth
Love is patient and kind, an uncanny truth.

"Half of my heart has a hold of the situation."

According to dictionary.com, friend, in the terms of a noun, means: a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. When used as a verb, usually the term 'befriend', the word preceding that definition is 'rare'; this word being by far the most accurate of all when searching for a synonym.

An incredibly wise man, C.S. Lewis, once said, "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival." During this day and age, friendship has little value as a whole, much less adding anything to life. And so we ask, "Why can't we all be friends?" Because we all grow up to be self-centered, egotistic, careless morons, that consider friendship to be only for personal gain and only appropriate for when it's convient for the individual not the group; because we like to talk and not listen, recieve and never give, that's why.

I've tried different methods of making friends. I've sat and waited for them to find me. I've gone out and searched endlessly for them. Yet I end up in the same exact ditch I was in from the start. Maybe it's a cruel cycle that everyone goes through; maybe there's just something horribly wrong with me that no one will be kind enough to inform me of. Has anyone ever found true friendship? Maybe, but how can we know? The definition of being a friend is rather pitiful; just because I have affectionate feeling for you doesn't mean you're my friend; just because I'm affectionate towards you doesn't mean you won't walk all over me.

Some unknown person once said, "Life hasn't forsaken you, you have forsaken yourself with your actions." So if I've never left your side when you needed someone to hold your hand, if I've held you when your first love broke up with you instead of patting you on the hand and saying oh, you'll be fine, if I've invited you to go everywhere I've gone, if I've paid for you ice cream when you left you debit card at home, if I've picked you up from work or driven you to the mall because your car was in the shop, if I've made you cards for every holiday on the Calendar, if I've told you I love you and meant it, if I've never betrayed you, if I've never told your secrets, if I've never kept anything from you, been totally honest one hundred percent of the time, how have my actions possibly forsaken our friendship.  Does no one understand a relationship is between two people, that it takes both forces, both beings to make it work?

As a child, I only owned two best friend neklaces. Both were in the shapes of hearts, and both I bought for myself and my "best friend." I understand that the original concept of best friend necklaces is that the other person owning the other half of the necklace also has the other half of my heart. Unfortunately, in actuality,   the heart was halved in two, jagged pieces when you decided you were done with the whole friendship business and decided to move on to bigger and better hearts. Sadly enough, I still have my half of the necklace and only half of my heart. Friendship, along with friendship necklaces, should be like Yin and Yang; both can stand free of each other but are much stronger, much lovelier when together. They compliment each other; I bring out the best in you, you bring out the best in me. Like puzzle pieces, we fit together; you complete my picture.

Have I given up hope? Not really. Do I expect to ever have a "best friend"? I like to think that there's a piece to my puzzle out in the world somewhere, and the only piece that may fit properly may be my future husband; that being a completely different and far more complicated search.

Yet, we continue. Why stop, with only half of my heart left, there's not much left to lose.

Here Comes A Storm

I never once deserted you;
I listened to your lies,
And still I won't settle
For any good-byes.

I considered you a sister;
A foolish mistake,
And unfortunately one
I continued to make.

A probable betrayal
Of merely happenstance;
And I think you should know
That dance was our last.

You discarded your crutch;
And luckily so,
Because now I will see
You fall on your own.

Of course this is something
I'd never wish upon you;
But I can't say I wouldn't mind
Seeing you a bit black and blue.

People learn to move on
And forget what has past;
But a repetitive wound
Leaves a scar that will last.

I'd always thought your colors bright and brilliantly true,
Until I found they were such a dull hue.

So good luck in your life
I hope you do well,
For the outcome
I won't be there to be able to tell.

The Beginning

Going to bed with my feet dirty again
I won't forget where I have gone.
A cocoon, my bed unfolds within
and protects me until dawn.

A dreamless boy, I"ll always keep
Locked behind the door,
And dream of him until I sleep
Dream forever more.

His brown eyes hold me dear
And his smile begins to fade.
His heart strings pull me near
Longing to be played.

You toss and turn alone
Tormented night by night.
The key I desire to own
That unlocks this awful fright.

Let me hide you in my arms
And guard you while your rest
Lull you to sleep with loving charms
In this sense, I know what's blessed.

I'll strum a hymn to soothe your soul
And sing a song to ease your mind.
Knowing that God is in control
A peaceful sleep you're soon to find.

Through troubles and afflictions
You have no choice but go.
Through courage and conviction
We'll reap all that we sew.

As the dream begins to dim
In shades of black and white and grey,
We must remember, look to Him,
We'll be assured of it one day.

Take Two

Your eyes tell all that needs to be said;
These jumbled thoughts untangle my head.
A heart of gold, so open and pure;
Longing for a love strong and secure.

Hide me in your arms and tell me you're mine;
A Master's plan, a flawless design?
Without any control, to you I am drawn,
Just a piece in the puzzle, just a promising pawn.

So tell me your ideas, your dreams, and your fears
And maybe we'll make it through year after year.
Sing me a love song, just one more time
And I'll tell you my heart through rhetoric and rhyme.

I'm afraid of being brash, blatant, and bold;
But Love has a story it needs to unfold.
And here I am open, a girl for display;
I'm hoping that somehow I'll make you stay.

Intertwine our fingers
Get a grip on my heart,
Don't let evil that lingers
Tear you apart.

I want to hold you and keep you strong;
My life seemed much darker until you came along.
And I want to return this favor to you,
A favor of hope that remains tested when true.

A dream's desire for tomorrow
A slow, tender kiss
A triumph over sorrow
A confession, is this.

And so then I wonder about the loss of my name,
And the time it will take from flicker to flame.
I can't recall if time stopped, or managed to slow,
At that first moment when your eyes spoke "Hello."

Your weathered imagination rocks you to sleep,
To find a heart you know you can keep.
These secretive thoughts I never should tell,
But in doing so, I hope you'll sleep well.

Maybe we'll find yours is the mate to my soul,
And I'm the only woman that could ever make you whole.

My Soul Mate

Will talk with his eyes and speak with his lips
Dance to swing with his hands on my hips
Capture our love in photographs
Make me melt everytime he laughs
Chase me through fields of clovers
Never think it'll all be over.
Make me mix cds of only love songs
He'll have me know that I belong.

He'll dress like a model in GQ
Wear avaitors slightly tinted blue
He'll kiss me on my tippy toes
And take me to all kinds of shows
An Intelligent writer, a master of words
The sweetest lyrics I've ever heard.

He'll keep me warm at night in the shape of a spoon
And every day with him will end far too soon
He'll kiss all of my tears away
And in his strong arms I'll stay.

The outline of my curves tease his mind
I'll playfully hit him when his jokes are slightly out of line
I'll jump in his arms the minute he gets home
Think to myself how wonderful it is that without me he'll never roam.

And one day wedding bells with cheerful chime
Will declare to the world that this man is mine.

Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This

Will you be mine?
I"m Sorry?
Be Mine.

How many times
Can I say yes

Before I wake up?
Don't wake up.

Will Kill

Philosophical venture
Spiritual lies
A father's expenditure
Smouldering eyes

A moment's glance
A flirtatious fire
Unspoken romance
Sparks of desire

Prophetic phrases
Spun with golden glory
He who worships, praises
A continuation of The Story

A mountain man
A slaughtered lamb
Achieving all he could be.
A tender heart
Twice torn apart
Built up from the debris.

Heart dangling on a string
Spinning in the night
To the key he clings
Bark worse than his bite

Your steps dance in my mind
Through scraps of thoughts and turpentine
You whisper words of hope and trust
You would've thought my motives lust

Tumbling through the time
Pray that God keep you in line
The warmth your smile exudes
Masked by ever changing moods

If only just one touch
But our lips would've said too much
I don't know what draws me near
Possesses me to want you here

But it's all fun and games
Until someone loses their name
And of course you'll beat me, too
How funny if it were you.

A Vision of Feminine Architecture

Acoustic hips
Pin-up lips
Curls of a goddess
Bows on the bodice
Waist thin and petite
Slender dancer's feet
Skin glittering bronze
Graceful as the swans
Hands long to hold
Eyes glitter more than gold
Voice like velvet
Sun-kissed brunette
Radiating smile
Bold, trend-setting style
Anger you cannot stir
A love you cannot spur
For she has a heart of stone
Therefore she'll remain alone.

A Sea of Sheets

Faded denim blue

of my favorite wornout jeans

your Grandmother's chair

a vision of vintage dreams

The ceiling is spinning

my stomach is gone

my eyes open

to a new dawn

I could kiss you through the night

pretend it's not contrite

that all this evidence

isn't a serious offense

it could be love in a sense

but on your part a false pretense

I lay there and stare

 and wonder

when this will end

I can see you

through the prison

that is best friends

A new light arises

no understanding of what it may be

a closet of suprises

a confidence boost

a boy seduced

unveiled our disguises

Sense of seclusion

a world of disillusion

just another journey

just another experience

just a notch in a bedpost

just a fallen prince

Love get out of my heart

He doesn't want you there

Before it tears us apart

Romance get out of my hair

I want to hold you

I want to dance until we drop

I don't want to be through

I don't want to stop

I want to be your closest friend

I want you to let me in

But these pondering thoughts are a waste

for yours are one of a different taste

Unfortunately,

it will never be

because you

will never

love

 me.

Void

Constant gorging of lies
and envious eyes
saying everything will be alright.

But it's constant goodbyes
which proves no surprise
a distant vision in the night.

A thought to attend
backwards to bend
trying to find a response

Wrists so thin
and that stupid grin
with its nonchalance

Breeding hate
just appreciate
the millions of acts of kindness

The Ignorance
started in that sense
on the first day of blindness

Outright cruelty
on the verge of gutsy
let her belong

Bleeding
Needing
lungs are sore from screaming

Learning
Yearning
all the while you're scheming

Just want to feel
a sincerity that's real
and move on with life.

To sow and reap
the cuts so deep
but let go of the knife.

Photographer

Capturing moments

that never even exist
Reality cripples

and still you persist

Light damages the lenses

As truth damages hearts

Not exactly a thing that cleanses

but still a selfless art.

An image is worth a thousand words

but words are useless

just like your toothless lies

that scatter with the flight of birds.

She dances across your eyelids

Just like all the others did

Perhaps they'll return with a glimmer

or slip away as the memories grow dimmer.

At a glance you're beautiful

but you lead to nowhere

do you dare

sitting there

in that dashing sweater
made of wool.

Sweet disposition
if those fingers could stroke your cheek

and linger, so tender and meek

to show you, give you permission

You can have her, but you've got to take her
She'll run away, don't make her.

Beseech her

Reach her

Hold her

Mold her

Into your curves

Into your art

Don't let them

tear her apart.

When Boy Meets Girl

Dance like stars
And fall like rain
Run like the wind
and cripple like pain.

The grass changed green over night
and pollen covered flower's sight

Dreaming between sheets
of two different worlds
longing for the moment
when boy meets girl.

The make-up rubbed from my eyes
Elbows resting upon my thighs
Secretly smiling to myself
Dreaming of taking my heart off the shelf.

But I am afraid to show it to you
Kept in a jar, cracked and abused.

I decided to give you a chance
But it slipped from your fingers
Watched it shatter with only a glance
and still the brokeness lingers.

I sat in the floor
and stared at the bits
until a knock on the door
saved me from my fits.

A long, moaning creak
as I took a peek
to see who it might be
and indeed I'd see

That it was you
remaining true
to that pact
coming back
to patch the cracks.

I jumped into your arms
forgetting the harm

The air began to swirl
as our feet left the ground
in a tumultuous twirl
a new healing was found.

I smiled up at you
You smiled down at me
At the secret we knew
that set us free.

You grabbed my hand
and we took off running
Never had we felt so grand
or looked so stunning.

I knew this was my future unfurled,
and in my shoes my toes curled,
this was the moment of  boy meets girl.

Mojo - Inspired by a True Story

Wind in the water
Joy on the breeze
A poets words
With naked knees

Tired tongues
Air-tight lungs
Feet on fire
World of desire
Clad in plaid

Dream in cream

Running until our legs gave out

You strummed on my heart strings with clout

A mild spirit
That helped me take flight
Like the airplanes overhead
I scaled the sky, away from my plight

This cavity of sorrow
Would surely have swallowed me whole
Had I not taken this risk,

Given you control

I don't know what Fate expects
Or what Destiny brings
But I won't hide within these fairy rings

Wishing for love
Hoping for joyWandering this Earth
With such an enchanting boy

I found my way home
Your ghost in the passenger seat
Where next will we roam?
I wondered, with a curiosity sweet

I dream of driving with you
Down the road to nowhere
Singing at the tops of our lungs
Melodies reflecting a heart so bare

So bare and untouched
A fear we had clutched
now releasing, and we're singing:

"What made me behave that way?

Using words I never say

I can only think it must be love

Oh, anyway, it's looking like a beautiful day

Someone tell me how I feel

It's silly wrong but vivid right

Oh, kiss me like the final meal

Yeah, kiss me like we die tonight

Cause holy cow, I love your eyes

And only now I see the light

Yeah, lying with me half-awake

Oh, anyway, it's looking like a beautiful day

So throw those curtains wide.

One day like this a year'd see me right."

Song Credit = One Day Like This by Elbow

We Ran

Dark New Day

All Hope Lost

Never a day like this

Never such a sorrow

Feet on the Floor

Dragging my soul

behind me

I washed

and left

They met me

down the road

carrying baskets

full of flowers and spices

Through the trees
and seas of tears
we tread

Guarded
Tomb
Stone
Death was here

A lightening countenance
robes white as snow
They fainted

Rolled Away
Brand New Day
We stood Trembling

He was Gone
The Clothes Discarded
No longer broken hearted

My heart beat
out of my chest
picking up my feet
I ran for the rest

My soul arose to Heaven
I felt like I could fly
I didn't understand it
because I'd watched him Die

But I had faith
I'd Believe
His face and scarred
Hands I'd seen

I made it to the door
threw it open wide
a smile danced on my lips
and I shouted,
Jesus is Alive!

Heart on a page

Whatever tomorrow brings

I'll be there

the words I long to hear

with a meaning so sincere

I'll know they truly care

Am I anything more than

a name scribbled on a note,

just something that you wrote,

or do I have a chance?

Can I look into your eyes

finding a wonderful suprise

of tenderness and kisses

possibly laughter and wishes

or will it be my demise?

What is love? Is it real?

is it better to feel

or be numb to experience no pain

but there'd be nothing to gain.

Am I worth the effort,

worth the time,

worth the moment when you become mine?

Or is it just more proof

that all of you are distant and aloof?

"Nobody wants to be the last one there"

so where, oh where, are you?

I fall quickly and way too far

over and over

I don't know who you are.

A sense of solitude without peace

bondange without release

I've never been so crippled

so crumpled and ripped

so unable to stand

not able to grasp who I am.

I know what I want

but it's a matter of me finding him

or him finding me

maybe one day I'll truly see

that I don't need you to live

to move on and forgive

but still the hurt touches my soul

shreds me to pieces

keeps me from becoming whole

I know you're out there

somewhere

you're thinking of me

I'm thinking of you

wondering if this true love deal

is actually true.

I'm searching

I'm waiting

I'm lurching

I'm hating

I"m longing.

My darling, my love

I don't know when and

I don't know how

but I want you

I need you

and I'm ready now.

Love Hate Letter

My heart ached

The tears burned

The sleepless nights

when my entire being yearned

for you to comfort me

for the day I would finally be

able to sincerely say

"I'm okay."

I was under the microscope

Available for all the world to view

Susceptible to all of the pain

that broke my spirit and murdered hope

I wondered when

I would no longer pretend

when I'd reply

"I"m perfectly fine."

Fractured wings cannot fly

Walking down the street

I could feel all the eyes

and sneering lips of the passer-byes

The rain poured

when I cut the cord

that held myself together

I went out to face the weather.

It's been almost a month

but not much has changed

Seeing couples makes me sick

because deep in my heart I feel

the familiar emotions prick

as sharp as a thorn.

Some days I wish I'd never been born.

Some moments I feel strong enough to stand

because when you're at the lowest of lows

you'll find out who you really are

and that everyone else blows.

It'll take strength

And it'll take courage

to get up time after time

step by step

length by legngth.

But I'll make it

I will succeed

I won't again

make the mistake

of trusting so easily.

I'm taking each day as it passes

I am a Phoenix, rising from the ashes.

Life is like photography, we develop from the negatives

If love were instant and ready-made, life would be worth the effort we put into it. But life is like a polaroid and a photographer. The photographer captures a beautiful moment, admires it and cherishes it for sometime, even shows it off. But then bigger and better things to photograph come along and the photographer continues on their journey, forgetting completely of that beautiful moment they were so fond of such a short time ago. Now they've forgotten about the image, left it sitting on the edge of a desk carved with impressions of the many love notes and tear stained pages that you wrote, bearing down with every flash of pain that ripped your being in two and the soothing needle and thread that mended it one day at a time.Soon the summer breeze's delicate fingers, that consist of change and salt, will gently lift the forgotten picture off of the table, curiously admire it, then float it to someone else in the world who will accept it and maybe, hopefully hide it between the pages of their journal to mingle with the words inked on their heart. Or perhaps tack it to a bulletin board among many other memories, that when no one is looking, come alive and fellowship together, dancing in the sunlight, jumping in the chilly, emerald depths of the sea, or holding your best friend's hand. One cloudy day, with a lot weighing on your mind, you will remember the beauty of that picture you took long ago and search for it at first half-heartedly and then your heart will pound with the new concept of loss. You become frantic, tearing your room apart, scattering polaroids across the floor under your bare feet, digging through desk drawers, in old school notebooks.The memories you traded for the old are no longer your priority; you have no idea what's happening, what's been happening all along. Then you sit on your bed and realize the precious memories are lost. She is gone, gone forever. And you sit there alone in your remorse.

Soloman

Time has proved you've grown

Alone

The mirror reflects a man

Golden, weathered, and tan

Art is his name

passion his game

He left behind

All that is mine

I want to know him

I want to show him

Someone can care

A love we might share

Smoke and mirrors

Any clearer?

Smile

Stay awhile?

Soft eyes

Hypnotize

You've been wrong

Fighting too long

Release the pain

Peace to gain

Hold me

Love me

Push me

Shove me

Love written on their arms

so many enticing charms

Turn the other cheek

wait another week

I just want to speak

to you.

Sleepyhead

Sleepyhead

pocket full of lead

techno dreams

in your eyes a gleam

dragging feet as you tread

Indie clothes

moth-eaten pantyhose

newspaper fingertips

sunshine yellows

crumpled tardy slips

Remixes

quick fixes

dirty fingernails

hung up on the details

longing for a love lost

wants to meet you

whatever the cost

Abandoned park benches

back alley stenches

trying to gain a name

who are you and

why don't you feel the same?

Moo cow eyes

endless skies

relying on nothing

counting on everything

secret blushes

silver thrushes

find a reason to sing

No gimmicks

No surprises

Just limericks

And sunrises

Hidden treasure

undermeasured

feeling worth it

never foreit

Inches from heaven

but tripped up on hell

seven eleven

under a spell

His good looks

make the record books

I'm through with the past

but the past isn't through

with me

I'll finally see

this has gotta be

the good life

Could this really be

the good life?

Or am I just asleep?

BENJAMINS

Money, currency.

 The addiction it evokes from all people.

tears families apart and ruins lives.

there's never enough

to go around.

 Half the people

who don't deserve a cent 

 possess the greatest sums of it 

while those who should have riches untold

live like beggars

because they give it all away.

The materialistic and appearence-oriented lives

 we all have fallen in place to lead.

At one time,

life used to be about

people,

love,

friendship,

company.

Now it's about fast cars, 

bigger and better tv sets,

houses with a personal movie theater

so you can show off

all your goodies

to all of your shallow friends.

People can be bought.

They can be bought for sex.

They can be bought just to stand next to you

and make you feel good about yourself.

They can be bought to turn a blind eye

on all the crimes you have committed

and return a

 murderer,

rapist,

thief,

to the same

dirty streets they came from.

This monster

called Hollywood

coats our dreams

with stick-thin siloeuttes

donning a second pair of insect eyes

 with a fistful of money

and a heart full of selfishness.

 Bigger and better,

all we want is

 more, more, more.

When and where does it end?

Maybe we are all

in need of some change

but not the kind

that jingles in a pocket.

Everything

is easier said

than done, but we're

still tongue-tied.

Lost  in a world of idolatry.

Hopefully, one day

we will realize our mistakes.

We will pick up all of those we have

Stepped on

in order to get to

where we are today and

a p o l o g i z e.

Remember who we love

and why we love them.

And then the whole world,

no matter how great a sum

of riches,

fame.

& glory,

it may offer,

could ever

tear us away

from them again.

What is a woman?

Exotic and Confident.

Beautiful and Independent.

Loving and Trustworthy.

Your Other Half.

An Artist.

Your Sister. Your Aunt.

Your Mother.

Your Best Friend.

The Best Manager you've ever had.

A shoulder to cry on.

The only thing to turn you on.

A Scholar.

Someone to hold.

Someone to hold you.

Someone to prove you wrong.

Someone you will never understand,

but are perfectly okay with it.

Someone to kiss your forehead, your cheek.

Someone to make you dinner when you've been on your feet.

Someone to laugh with.

Someone to cry with.

Someone to die with.

A musican, a Dancer.

Someone you can hurt without regretting.

Someone you could kill yourself for hurting.

An athlete, a math whiz.

Bottom line,

he is hers and she is his.

Artistic > Eccentric

Eccentricity, the greatest simplicity.

to an easily solveable problem.

Hiding behind the mask, not an easy task.

flower with no supporting stem.

Turn the tables, hide behind the fables,

Standing out with everyone else.

Crying as your facade melts.

Skinny Jeans, ripped up seams,

Thrift store frequency.

Short hair, gender scare

Empty pocket shopping spree.

Romance, perchance,

Handsome and too good to be true.

Why is he wasting his time on you?

Artistic, simplistic.

Blue eyes and Brown hair.

Plays guitar, gonna go far,

You don't want to share.

It won't matter, stop the chatter

You weren't the best that he could get.

You were right, I was a threat.

Truly Artistic over False Eccentric.

Any day.

"Forever and Alyways"

For Nathan Jent

"Love is the answer, makes no difference what you have heard, Love is the answer, you have got to trust in the word."

High School romances, second chances, trusting yet unsure.

Summer nights, mild fights, praying we'll endure.

Loved you some, from day one, never will let go

Through the years, trials and tears, lost all control.

My best friend, wounds to mend, always by my side.

You're the source, no remorse, my tears you dried.

My first love, push to shove, lost then once again found.

I love you, you loved me too, heart stopped at the sound.
Butterflies, windy skies, tomorrow and a day.

Heart to heart, together when apart, never to run away.

Laughed so much, tender touch, riding on hope.
Roadtrips, sweet taste of you lips, a slippery slope.

Crippled when alone, hours on the phone, brought me to my knees.

You were the first, loved me at my worst, when you gave me the keys.

Not enough words, strongly preferred, to say what you mean to me.

Past the end, I'll never pretend, not meant to be.

With all the force, we lost our course, grasping for something.

Struggling to move, trying to prove, I can fix these broken wings.

No regrets, a huge debt, hurting to the core.

No self-esteem, at night I'd scream, I can't give anymore.

Gave it all, began to fall, fell into your arms.

Sweet memories, shooting the breeze, southern gentleman's charm.

It'll never die, as time goes by, you'll always somehow be mine.

The greatest person I've ever met, I love you yet, April 17 2008 until the end of time.

Sometimes.

For a very long time I have struggled with friendships. I am one of those people that throws their entire being into each relationship. For years upon years, no one has invited me anywhere. If I wanted to do anything, I would be the initiator. I've missed my share of school days due to common colds and cancer over the years. I waited and waited for someone to tell me they missed me and no one did, until yesterday. Since then, I have found a new sense of hope in friendship. Of course these two people are close friends, one of them being my absolute best friend who I would fight til the death for. You know exactly who you are, and I love you :)! You have no idea what little things mean to me, especially the things that I do for other people that I think go unnoticed. Thank you for noticing.

Also, a small shout out to the people that make my world go 'round:
My Mom. My dad. Nathan Jent. Elizabeth Batson. Gabby Norris. Connor Clinch. Devin Drummond. Erika Jackson. Tyler Silvers. Austin Jent. Cody Jent. Shannon Theobald. Mary Miles Fewell. Jessica Mason. Jenai Jackson. Phillip Brown. Caroline Tunkle. Kristen Ayers. Lauren Patterson. Jared Stroud. Caiti Maddox. CJ Patterson. Mr. Henderson. Mr. Hoeberling. Hochey. Unterspan. and Andrew Ginzel.

You are my favorites.

btw, I made that picture from scratch, so don't steal it.