An incredibly wise man, C.S. Lewis, once said, "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival." During this day and age, friendship has little value as a whole, much less adding anything to life. And so we ask, "Why can't we all be friends?" Because we all grow up to be self-centered, egotistic, careless morons, that consider friendship to be only for personal gain and only appropriate for when it's convient for the individual not the group; because we like to talk and not listen, recieve and never give, that's why.
I've tried different methods of making friends. I've sat and waited for them to find me. I've gone out and searched endlessly for them. Yet I end up in the same exact ditch I was in from the start. Maybe it's a cruel cycle that everyone goes through; maybe there's just something horribly wrong with me that no one will be kind enough to inform me of. Has anyone ever found true friendship? Maybe, but how can we know? The definition of being a friend is rather pitiful; just because I have affectionate feeling for you doesn't mean you're my friend; just because I'm affectionate towards you doesn't mean you won't walk all over me.
Some unknown person once said, "Life hasn't forsaken you, you have forsaken yourself with your actions." So if I've never left your side when you needed someone to hold your hand, if I've held you when your first love broke up with you instead of patting you on the hand and saying oh, you'll be fine, if I've invited you to go everywhere I've gone, if I've paid for you ice cream when you left you debit card at home, if I've picked you up from work or driven you to the mall because your car was in the shop, if I've made you cards for every holiday on the Calendar, if I've told you I love you and meant it, if I've never betrayed you, if I've never told your secrets, if I've never kept anything from you, been totally honest one hundred percent of the time, how have my actions possibly forsaken our friendship. Does no one understand a relationship is between two people, that it takes both forces, both beings to make it work?
As a child, I only owned two best friend neklaces. Both were in the shapes of hearts, and both I bought for myself and my "best friend." I understand that the original concept of best friend necklaces is that the other person owning the other half of the necklace also has the other half of my heart. Unfortunately, in actuality, the heart was halved in two, jagged pieces when you decided you were done with the whole friendship business and decided to move on to bigger and better hearts. Sadly enough, I still have my half of the necklace and only half of my heart. Friendship, along with friendship necklaces, should be like Yin and Yang; both can stand free of each other but are much stronger, much lovelier when together. They compliment each other; I bring out the best in you, you bring out the best in me. Like puzzle pieces, we fit together; you complete my picture.
Have I given up hope? Not really. Do I expect to ever have a "best friend"? I like to think that there's a piece to my puzzle out in the world somewhere, and the only piece that may fit properly may be my future husband; that being a completely different and far more complicated search.
Yet, we continue. Why stop, with only half of my heart left, there's not much left to lose.
